


The Handcuffs of Love

by Astrid_the_DeathGod



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Confusion, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I don´t care Ryuuzaki! You are going to wear shoes even if it kills you! - Light (to L), If you touch Mello´s chocolate you have five second to run, It wasn´t me! It was emm....Near! - Mello (to angry Light), Jealousy, Light and Mello can´t get along, M/M, Mello and Matt - best friends, Protectiveness, Shyness, The children love and admire L, complicated feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 09:11:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12362457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astrid_the_DeathGod/pseuds/Astrid_the_DeathGod
Summary: L is sure of one thing. Those foreign feelings he has towards Light are stronger than his hate towards Kira.Light is focused on succeeding as Kira. Maybe that´s why he didn´t notice the moment when he began to fall love with L. When the fateful moment comes, will he choose to rule the world as Kira? Or will he realize his feelings towards L before it´s too late?Mello hates Near. He hates him more than anything. He hates the fact that thanks to L he has to be handcuffed with him. He hates the fact that he is beginning to like it.Near isn´t emotionless, he is just scared. He cares about Mello more than he should.Matt is helping all of them to realize their feelings towards each other. Because without him they are hopeless! They all need his help! (or so he says)





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L is sure in one thing. His feelings towards Light are stronger than his hate for Kira.

L was pretending to work on the computer. But the truth was he was deeply in thought. He was going to visit the children in Wammy´s house. L doesn´t even remember how long it has been since his last visit. Four or five months? Maybe more? But the main reason why he had decided to attend the children was because of Near and Mello.

They were both great at studying and from L´s point of view, they were alike. But the relationship between them was horrible. L knew Mello was just jealous of Near because he was a better student but L couldn´t accept his aggressive behavior towards him. It was L´s duty to do something about this problem. He wanted to be a father figure in their lifes. He had already told Roger about his plan and he had happily agreed. Maybe Mello would hate him for this but L had to give it a chance. It worked for him and Light, so why not for Mello and Near?

He deeply cared about his successors, even if he didn´t show it. The gottic letter L was standing for the best and the most famous detective in the world. The one who was never wrong, the one who always knew what to do, the one who had never cared what did the other people think about him. The emotionless and perfect letter L.

Despite his high intelligence and briliance, he knew nobody would assumed that he was the person who was hiding behind this letter. Him, the slim pale boy with messy raven hair, the shadows under his dark black eyes and his weird style of clothing. The loose long-sleeved white shirt and baggy jeans were his typical things to wear. Also, an insomniac and addicted to sugar. He just couldn´t help himself, he loved sweets and cheesecakes! He had never cared what did the others think of him, it wasn´t important. He didn´t feel hurt when he saw the shocked faces of his co-workers when he told them he was L. He thought he didn´t need any comfort and didn´t want to socialize with people. 

But the Kira´s case had changed him. 

L was convinced that Kira was only a crazy serial killer, nothing more, nothing less. But soon, he realized that Kira was as smart as him. He played with L a dangerous game. The game they both wanted to win. The detective was aware of the fact that Kira would kill him as soon as he get the righ opportunity. L knew if he was going to continue like this, he would get himself killed. But his own pride and childish attidute didn´t allow him to let up.

And that was a mistake.

Now he was 75% sure that Kira was dangerously close to revealing his name. He didn´t have a proof but his senses and deductions were right in most situations and he was sure that this one wasn´t an exception. It was kinda frustrating that all the killer needed was a name and face to kill. That was one of the reasons why he wanted to attend the Wammy´s house, he knew it might be his last chance to see the children.

He had never imagined that Kira would defeat him. He had always though that he would win this kind of deathmatch, he thought justice would prevail. But obviously, he could be wrong. Would L die of a heart attack? Or would Kira choose a more painful way? As he kept thinking he let the small sad smile cover his usually emotionless face. There was a 68% chance that he would loose but he would be trying his best until the end. He would contlinue until his death.

He realized why he was so close to losing. During the investigation the others made him forget the most important thing. 

He was a human. 

After all, he still was a human. He wanted to be loved, to be held in someone´s arms. He wanted someone to tell him the sentece: "Everything is gonna be okay, I am here with you." L didn´t have any friends or relatives. He had never been loved. Even his own parents didn´t want him. He had never experinced what love is.  
Well, to be honest, there was someone special in his life after all…..

His prime suspect, Yagami Light. Thanks to Light, he had a chance to experience the friendship. But after a few days of knowing him he had realized something. Everytime he was near him, he felt strange feeling in his stomach and his chest ached. Everything about Light fascinated him. Only Light had the power to make the detective feel comfortable, to calm him down. He was the only one in the world who seemed to truly care about L. Sadly, L was 85% sure he was Kira. That was the only reason why he acted nice and caring around the raven-haired man. Everything he said was a lie. All he wanted was to kill the people who went against his will.

L knew it. L could see through the mask Yagami Light wore. He could see through all his lies. But it didn´t change the way how he felt about him. He knew what kind of person Light was from the beginning, still, he found his suspect a fascinating person. He couldn´t recognize this feeling he had. Not yet. He was convinced that he had never experienced it before. But he was sure in one important thing.

His feelings for Light were stronger than his hate for Kira. 

He tried many times to beat the crazy murdurer inside of him. But nothing worked. That´s why he was, much to Light´s dislike, handcuffed with him. He had to study his every move, every emotion. He wanted to help him. Or was it already late? 

But L wasn´t giving up, that wasn´t like him at all. Even if this game was about to end, he would fight until the end. Somewhow, he would save Light and kill Kira, even if they were the same person. He just had to start thinking like him. What would it be if he saw the world like him? Thought like him instead? He had to look through Light´s eyes, see what he sees. He would have to walk in his shoes as long as it takes. He would mimic his will, learn his routines and feel the same thrill. He was capable of that.

He would not go down so easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is my first Death Note fanfiction, I hope you liked this chapter!   
> As you may noticed, English is not my native language, so please, by tolerate to some mistakes!
> 
> Have a nice day :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That´s not true! I am just picky when it comes to clothing, that´s all!"
> 
> "Of course Light-kun, of course."

Despite his feelings, L had more important problem to deal with. How was he supposed to explain to the children in Wammy’s house why is he handcuffed to him?

The question had been bothering him for a few days. He couldn’t tell them the truth; he didn’t want them to be scared, but there was no way he would let Light out of his sight. That meant he would have to take the brunet with him. He would make sure that there was a nearly 0% chance that Light would discover their names but he still didn’t like this idea. He hated to admit it, but Light wasn’t trustworthy enough.

He nervously bit his thumb and closed his eyes. This was a very complicated situation. Why was everything so complicated? He would protect his successors no matter what. Even if it cost his life.

"…Ryuuzaki?"

L took a deep breath. He was beginning to hallucinate.

"…Ryuuzaki!"

Again. He could hear his voice. Maybe he should stop thinking about him; it was obviously not good for his health.

"Ryuuzaki!"

The raven-haired man smiled to himself. He really had a vivid imagination. For a second he believed it was real. Suddenly, he started to feel pain. His eyes snapped open. He could see a very angry Light, who was standing right before him.

Maybe it wasn’t his imagination after all...

The brunet was glaring at him, and L had a big urge to flinch from his gaze. He is glaring like Kira would, thought L to himself. His percentage went up from 85% to 86%. Not that it mattered though.

"Ryuuzaki, could you repeat what I just said?"

"I highly believe that Light-kun was repeatedly shouting my name."

If a look could kill, L would have dropped then and there. Light was obviously in a bad mood, so it would not be wise to tease him. Light wasn’t the most patient person in the world. He wasn’t even the second or the third.

"I am sorry Light-kun. It seems I wasn’t paying attention. Would you mind repeating it?"

"I’m starting to worry about you, Ryuuzaki. You haven’t been acting like yourself for tne past few days," sighed the younger man.

L felt butterflies in his stomach. Light was worried. He almost sounded like he cared about him. Maybe it was a lie again, but L didn’t mind this time. He was trying to not mind. Why was he even trying?

There it was again, that feeling he couldn’t name. What kind of emotion was that?

Light sighed again. "You aren’t listening to me, you aren’t talking to me, you aren’t looking at me. Did I do something wrong, Ryuuzaki? Or do you hate me so much that you can’t even look upon my face?"

Light’s words were like daggers. L didn't have the courage to say anything. If he did, his voice would betray him. Plus, he had no idea what was he supposed to say. He couldn’t let Light see how vulnerable he was. He had to stay strong, like everybody expected of him. It was his duty, hide his feelings, lock them deep within his body.

Slowly, he took a bite of his favourite cheesecake.

"…Ryuuzaki are you listening to me?" said an irritated voice again.

The raven-haired man didn’t respond at first. That was too much for Light to handle. He punched L in the face.

"Don’t ignore me!"

L had another chance to confirm that Light wasn’t the most patient person in the world. He was never wrong but he felt quite delighted that he had successfully predicted Light’s actions.

"My apologizes, I was thinking. I will listen to Light-kun this time, I promise."

It took him a while, but then he finally spoke. "I was asking you why my clothes aren’t in my wardrobe?" he explained.

L’s eyes widened in false surprise. "Oh, have you not heard? It seems I forgot to tell you."

L was lying, of course. He just wanted to delay or avoid this conversation. He was still against it.

"Heard what?" asked Light angrily.

"Prepare yourself. We are going to England tomorrow."

The brunet's reaction was priceless. "What? Why?"

"I am going to visit my successors for the last time. But as you can see,” he explained, pointing at the chain that linked them, “you have to go with me."

"Why didn’t you tell me earlier?"

L kept eating his cake as he answered. "If I told Light-kun earlier, he would have the time to prepare a plan how to find out their names and kill my successors. I couldn’t accept that risk."

For a second he could see the rage that appeared in the younger man’s eyes, but it was soon replaced with an annoyed look.

"Also, Light-kun is really slow when he is packing his clothes. Watari has already packed necessities."

Light sounded offended. "That’s not true! I am just picky when it comes to clothing that's all!"

"Of course, Light-kun, of course."

The brunet gave him another death glare. "And how about you, Ryuuzaki? You still have clothes in our room. When are you going to prepare?"

L looked up at him and stared. Light nervously swallowed. Did he say something wrong?

"I do not need anything with me." This time it was Light's turn to stare. Did he actually say that? He wasn't going to change clothes? He will stay in these?! He had to be kidding!

"Ryuuzaki, you ARE GOING TO take at least one nice shirt, a tie, one pair of jeans and definitely shoes! People are supposed to dress nicely when they are going somewhere!"

"I don't think that's necessary, Light-kun. And I hate shoes."

"Too bad, I don't care. You are going to wear shoes even if it kills you. I am not travelling with you anywhere if you don't take formal clothes!"

L looked deep into his eyes. "Light-kun, you are acting as childish as Kira would. The chances of you being Kira -"

"How many times I have to tell that I am not Kira? Even if I died right now from a heart attack I would still be your number one suspect!" shouted the brunet angrily.

This was killing L from inside. He had already learned how to see through his lies, but the way Light was telling them, so blithely, without shame, it made L feel uneasy. Was there ever a moment in which was he telling the truth?

There was a high possibility that Light felt nothing when he was around L. Absolutely nothing.

Meanwhile, the brunet calmed down. "Anyway, what do you mean by ‘last time,’ Ryuuzaki? I thought you visited the Wammy's house twice a year?"

L slowly unwrapped his candy. "It's simple, Light-kun. I am 68% sure that Kira will kill me after the visit, so it's logical that this will be my last attendance, but it all depends on when will Light-kun write my name down."

A few moments later, he felt Light's fist connect with his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Again, I hope there aren´t many mistakes.
> 
> The next chapter will be released tommorow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I have never hated Mello. Why does Mello hate me?" Near asked emotionlessly.

"So is it true? He’s coming tomorrow?"

"Yes, he is. Roger told me!"

"I’ve never seen him in person!"

The children had already known about L's upcoming visit and were really excited. All of them missed L very much, but there was only one person who was not delighted at all.

*************************************************

"I will NOT wear this Roger!" shouted an angry voice at an elderly man.

"Mello, please calm down - " he couldn’t even finish his sentence.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN??! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN?! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!"

The young boy with chin length golden-blond hair wasn't good at controlling his anger. His ocean eyes were filled with rage.

"Mello it's L's decision. You have been fighting with Near all this time and this is gonna help you understand his feelings. You may become friends," said Roger calmly.

"I am not gonna be handcuffed to Near, Roger."

The elderly man gave him a mischievous smile. "I thought you want to be L's successor, don’t you?"

Mello swallowed. This was extortion! He knew very well where was this conversation going. He had to obey every L's command, even if he didn't like it. If he didn't obey, L would be mad at him and that was definitely not what Mello wanted, but what on Earth gave L this stupid idea?

He couldn't stand Near! He wasn't even able to be in one room with him! How was he supposed to shower? To sleep? To change clothes? He couldn't even stand breathing the same air with that boy!

He hated everything about him. Mello’s ill feeling rose little by little each moment. How much he despised that worthless brat! Always twirling his snowy white hair, always being so childish!

But Mello had to admit that he quite feared the boy. When Near looked at him with those stormy grey eyes of his, it was like he could see the Mello's soul. Like he couldn't hide anything from him.

Mello had never been fooled by his innocent look. He was convinced that something was wrong with that twit. He always got some sick feeling whenever Near was around.

On the other hand, he refused to disappoint L. This was a challenge that was given to him, and he would accept it. There was no way he would lose! He really admired L, and he would do anything to make L notice him.

He would have to do his best! He knew for sure that this wouldn’t be easy, but he would give it a shot. He would try to get along with Near for L's sake but ONLY for L's sake.

"Fine, Roger, I am willing to do it. But don't expect me to act like his friend! I will not give any respect to him!" Without another word, he grabbed the handcuffs and slammed the door behind him.

Roger raised an eyebrow. This will get very interesting, thought the elderly man to himself.

**************************************************

Mello walked out of Roger's office and headed to the common room. As soon as he got there, he found a small albino boy who was solving his blank puzzle. He was wearing a white, long-sleeved pajama top and light blue pajama pants as always.

He seemed to be trapped in his own world. He didn't pay any attention to his surroundings. Mello had promised himself years ago that he will take him from the world he was in. He would make Near see him as an equal.

He mentally slapped himself. He already was better than Near! He didn't need his attention!

Mello was trying his best to ignore the curious glances from the other children as he continued walking towards the pale boy. The handcuffs in his left hand were looking quite dangerous.

"Hey, sheep!"

Near was used to this kind of nickname. Mello had been calling him things like that since his early childhood. It wasn't hard for him to understand why.

The blonde was sure that Near had heard him, but he didn't look up from his puzzle. His stormy grey eyes were focused on his game.

"Is there something you need, Mello?" he asked emotionlessly.

The blond haired boy attached the chain to the younger boy's wrist without saying a single word. He could hear several gasps from the others in the room. It was so embarrassing! Mello thought he would kill himself when he remembered that this is only the beginning.

He was also starting to feel irritated. He had just chained the boy to him, and Near didn't even bother to look at him? The other children were staring at them like they were ghosts. They couldn't believe that this was really happening.

Near stopped solving his puzzle, and finally, his gaze focused on Mello.

"Does Mello have a reason for this? Or is it an act from anger?"

This sentence reminded Mello why he hated that boy.

No matter what he did, Near's reaction was always the same, the blank stare. This time, he wasn't looking at Mello; he was looking through Mello.

He hated this. He wanted to be noticed, even though he wasn't sure why. The thought made his blood boil.

"We are going to be handcuffed to each other for some time. We...have to get along… it's L decision," he added quickly.

Near just blinked a few times. "I understand." And then he looked away and continued his puzzle.

That was too much for Mello to handle. When Mello was told about this, he protested and screamed at Roger. But Near? He just…accepted it? Was Near so indifferent to him so much that he didn't care about being handcuffed?

Mello clenched his fists and punched the younger in the face. His head hit the floor hard, but that didn't stop the blond-haired boy. He was really pissed off, and that didn't happen very often. Unless someone ate his chocolate bar, in that situation Mello would be capable of raising hell. He kicked the poor boy several times and then he caught him under his neck.

"Show at least one stupid emotion when I am talking to you, damn it!" yelled Mello almost hysterically.

When he got no response he tightened his grip.

"I greatly apologize if I didn't act the way Mello expected me to. Will Mello let go of me now?"

The older boy slapped him. That twit…he wasn't sorry at all, and Mello knew it. Near said it in his usual monotone as if he couldn't see Mello's rage. He was really getting on Mello's nerves!

"Mello..."

Near was starting to lose oxygen, but his facial expression remained unchanged.

"Don't look at me that way, sheep," said Mello with a grin, "if you want me to release you, beg for it."

Silence.

Mello tightened his grip again. He was sure that Near was really close to choking.

"C'mon Near, is it so hard to say please? Do you finally understand who is the superior here?" he couldn't help himself and smirked. It was great to have at least this kind of power over him.

The white-haired boy was really close to saying something but then…..

"MY GOD! NEAR!" shouted a girl's voice.

Mell turned around and frowned. Again that annoying girl.

Her name was Linda, and that was all he could really say about her. Oh, he totally disliked her. No, better word, he totally hated her.

"Mello, release him! You could kill him!" she yelled frantically.

Mello smirked. "Oh? Is he still alive? What a pity…" But he reluctantly obeyed her wish.

Near wasn't gasping for air like the golden-haired boy expected him to. He was just breathing hard. Was he even a human?

Linda ran to Near with a worried expression on her face. "Are you alright? Should I take you to the infirmary?"

Near sat up and began to twirl his snowy-white curl of hair. "I am alright, Linda. Thank you for your concern."

Linda blushed a little. "Y-you're w-welcome."

Mello found it disgusting. It was obvious that this brown-haired girl had a crush on Near, and it annoyed the hell out of him. The boy was HIS rival. If he would ever be willing to show some sort of emotion, it would be to Mello. Not to some girl with pig-tails!

"Mello, you should be nicer to Near! He deserves mo-"

That was the moment when she had finally noticed the chain connecting them.

"Mello, you -"

"L's orders, not mine," he cut her off.

She opened her mouth to speak again but golden-haired continued.

"Linda, Near is not interested in you, and he never will be. You have two options. The first, you will go away, and we both forget that this conversation ever happened. The second, someone will have to carry you to the infirmary if you don't leave this room in one minute. I am fine with both, so it's on you to decide."

Linda froze. She immediately started to cry.

"Mello is so cold," Near said.

He grinned. "No more than Near."

Then he grabbed Near's arm and started dragging him to his room.

When they got there, Near immediately sat on the floor and began to play with one of his toys. There was a long silence, and soon it started to feel awkward. The albino didn't mention the thing with Linda. Well, Mello shouldn't be surprised. He was sure that Near was indifferent to her.

The blonde soon realized that he had no idea how to communicate with the younger boy. Suddenly, Near's eyes met Mello's.

"We are taking an important test tomorrow. Doesn't Mello want to study?" he asked politely.

"That's none of your business! Anyway, we have to make rules!"

The white-haired boy tilted his head. "Rules?"

"Yes, rules. It's obvious we hate each other, so we must make some about personal space and stuff like that!"

Silence again. Near was watching him carefully with his dull eyes.

"I have never hated Mello. I don't have a problem with personal space either."

Mello's eyes widened. Did he hear right? Near didn't hate him? After all the things he had done to him, he still didn't?

"Is that so? Well I do hate you..." Mello wasn't prepared for that kind of situation. He suddenly felt nervous, and his hands began to sweat.

"Why does Mello hate me?"

Mello froze. That question caught him off guard. Near really didn't know, did he? How can someone be so…innocent? He could feel his blood boiling. That stupid sheep!

"I highly believe that I gave him no reasons to hate me. I tried to figure out why Mello keeps acting this way, but I didn't succeed. If there is anything about me that bothers Mello-"

"SHUT UP!"

He couldn't stand it anymore. He just couldn't. "You don't know? I have nearly million reasons to hate you! Because of you I am always the second! You are always spending your free time by playing with your stupid toys! I am the one who studies hard! You don't have the right to surpass me every time! It's just not fair! When I managed to have the same score as you, you didn't even glance at me! You think I am not on your intelligence level! I will show you that I can be as good as you!"

He was breathing heavily and his whole body was trembling. He had never had such an emotional outburst. He didn't felt ashamed but he made a mental note to himself. He had to control his emotions. Instead of calming himself down, he felt strong desire to punch Near.

The younger boy slowly came closer to him. Luckily, he remained silent the whole time so Mello didn't do anything stupid.

His hand reached towards Mello's cheek and gently stroked it as he looked deeply into his eyes.

"I understand, Mello." And the warm on Mello's cheek disappeared as quickly as it came, leaving the blonde confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why can´t you just die?"

The golden-haired boy felt somewhat hurt. He had secretly hoped that at least now Near would have stopped being a robot, but he was wrong. Again.

You are going to show some reaction Near.  
Suddenly, he had an excellent idea. Well, maybe not as excellent as he thought, but it was something. The devilish grin covered his face as he slowly approached the younger boy.

Near recognized the change in Mello's behavior and carefully glanced at him with those stormy grey eyes of his.

You will not get away that easily, not this time. Like usual he felt well-known anger filling his body.  
"You don't understand anything, Near." said Mello with an overwhelming voice.

Then, with incredible speed, he grabbed Near's shirt and lifted him up from the floor. He received no reaction at all, only a blank stare. That made Mello even angrier, but he did his best to cover it. He slammed him violently against the wall, and his hand closed around Near's throat. He was certain that for a moment, he saw mysterious glint in albino's eyes, but it was almost immediately replaced with emptiness.

The younger boy found himself grabbing at Mello's wrists with both of his hands, in an attempt to set himself free, but Mello's reputation at fights didn't come from nowhere. Mello was used to causing pain to the others and enjoyed the fights, but Near, on the other hand, had never punched someone. It wasn't a secret that he preferred a quiet and dark place where he could be alone to some crowded and noisy one. He had no experience in fighting, and he intended to keep it that way.

"Mello..."

"What's wrong, Near?" he asked with a devilish smirk.

The pale boy opened his mouth to say something again, that was Mello's chance. Without thinking or hesitating, he smashed their mouths together.

He could feel Near's body freeze. Mello was aware of the fact that Near didn't like any physical contact, and that's why he did it. Mello bit Near's bottom lip, teasing him. He knew that in this kind of game he wouldn’t lose. He was enjoying this power he had over Near. The other boy, unsure what he was doing, opened his mouth a little more, and Mello immediately deepened the kiss and explored every inch of Near's mouth.

A few moments later, their lips parted due to lack of oxygen in their lungs. They were both flushed and were breathing heavily. Mello smirked at the albino boy.

"You are far too innocent, Near. Do you think you know everything? Do you still think I am not worthy of being your rival?"

"I've never said that you aren-"

"Shut up you! Do you even hear yourself? Why can't you just admit for once in your life that I am saying the truth? Why do you always have to be the best one in everything?" And the next sentence he spoke was without thinking. "Why can't you just die?"

That finally made it.

Mello saw mysterious glint in Near's eyes. Was it sadness? Mello was shocked by his own words but it was too late to take it back. He couldn't stand this boy. That was a fact, but he didn't wish him death. What made him say that absurd thing? And most importantly why did he feel sad when he saw Near's hurt face? Mello felt some strange feeling in his body, but he couldn't name it. He felt sick.

That's when Mello was finally hit by his previous actions. He had kissed him. HE HAD KISSED NEAR.

What the hell was wrong with him? That was NOT what he wanted at all. That stupid cotton ball! It was Near's fault as always! What could be worse?

Mello looked at him, but what he saw shocked him even more.

Near's cheeks were bright pink and he still had problems with controlling his breathing. But besides that he seemed unaffected, he was still wearing the same emotionless mask.

"What the hell, sheep?" That was too much for Mello.

Here he was, confused as hell and Near was just like always? The same dull look again? Even after a kiss he was still able to remain detached? Was Near so indifferent to Mello that he didn't care?

"I hate you!" He kicked him in the face and then turned around.

No, this was wrong. He was acting like a little child. He had to stay calm and collected like Near. This was a test from L. He could do it!

"I don't want to fail at this project, but keep away from me as far as this chain allows you, don't talk to me, and don't look at me. If you disobey one of these rules I will not control myself, and I will not mind badly hurting you." Then he pulled out a chocolate bar and took a bite. He didn't look back at Near. He was too afraid. His own feelings were frightening him. Some sick part of his mind wanted to break Near's emotionless face no matter what. This was wrong, very wrong. He kept repeating those words in head.

He sat on his bed, still successfully avoiding Near's gaze, and wrapped himself in the duvet. His eyelids began to feel heavy so he closed his eyes and soon after he fell asleep, hoping that those emotions would disappear.

He couldn't see the moment when Near's face was covered by a small sad smile. He couldn't feel the warm of Near's body when the albino boy pressed himself against him. He couldn't know that Near fell peacefully asleep, feeling protected because of Mello's presence.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L was a problem, and it was Light’s duty to get rid of him. Kira’s justice was supposed to rule the world. Kira would win. He would make sure of it. It was his destiny.

"What? Are you serious?" Light burst out laughing heartily enough that he could feel tears in his eyes.

L gave him a confused look. "I don’t understand why does Light-kun feels so entertained by this. I am 95% sure that this is an important issue. I doubt that this problem is entertaining. I would appreciate it if Light-kun could try to take this whole situation more seriously."

Light tried to keep a straight face during L’s speech, but it just wasn’t possible. Soon, he started to laugh again.

L frowned and chewed on his thumb, obviously deeply in thought. He really didn’t understand the sudden change in Light’s behavior. What did he find so entertaining?

Light tried his best to calm down. He was really enjoying this. This visit will be more entertaining then he had originally thought. _Interesting move, L._

Light used to have problems with adjusting to the handcuffs, but in the end, he managed to tolerate L’s company. Sure, it was hard for him, but he was a brilliant actor. It was true that he had fought L many times, but it wasn’t a big deal. Thanks to that, he somehow managed to keep his sanity. He still didn’t like the chain, but he had learned long ago how to not despise it. Yes, showering and changing clothes were really uncomfortable activities, but he was 17, nearly an adult; he could stand many things.

But he had never imagined that L would disclose the handcuffs thing to his successors. They were children, after all. He was really curious about how they would deal with it. _You are always shocking me in some way, L._

Maybe this visit won´t be so bad, after all.

Light wasn’t looking forward to attending Wammy’s house for a simple reason: the children. He was aware of the fact that they all had similar way of thinking to L, and their IQ was probably dangerously close to L’s. That was a complication.

But their intelligence wasn’t the main reason he didn’t want to attend. Light was very confident, and he was sure that none of them matched him. He was convinced that none of them could surpass his intelligence. The brunet just knew ahead that he would dislike their presence.

He didn’t want to spend whole week around them and acting friendly all the time. Light knew he would not have a single moment alone and would probably be escorted the whole time. The brunet was lucky that he had convinced Ryuk to stay home. Light knew he would have to be even more careful; he couldn’t risk revealing himself. He was so, so close to L’s name. He couldn’t allow himself any kind of distraction.

He hated to admit it, but he knew he would feel trapped. It would be like being in one room with many of L’s younger selves. This though made him uneasy. One L was enough; he didn’t need others.

Light was sure of one thing: this visit would be like being in enemy’s territory, quite literally.

On the other hand, he could use this visit for his benefit. If he managed to hurt the children, he would destroy L too – emotionally.

He just needed to find some way to get their names. He had gathered as many information as he could about L’s three top successors; he wanted to know what was awaiting him. Sadly, he couldn’t find any photos of them, so he didn’t know how to recognize them. Again, he was sure that was part of L’s plan. The detective was damn good at hiding important things from him. But Light was better. He would get through this.

At times like these, Light was really looking forward to attending L’s funeral. Soon....

Sometimes, he wanted L’s name so badly. He was already tired of the raven-haired detective smartness.

And sometimes, he didn’t want to know it.

If he killed L, he would lose the only person in this rotten world who was on the same intelligence level as him. The only one who somehow understood him.

The detective was an interesting person, the most interesting one that Light had ever met. He wanted to understand his way of thinking. When Light became the God of the New World, he would be surrounded by idiots. All the people who opposed him would be eliminated.

Light would be alone, and he didn’t want that. Light didn’t want to be lonely; he wanted some good company. He wasn’t counting Misa because that foolish girl always gave him a headache whenever she spoke. L was the first (and would probably be the last) person for whom he felt respect. If they had met under different circumstances, they could be close friends or… maybe even more.

But the detective was standing in his way. Light couldn’t allow or tolerate that anymore. Light wanted a perfect world, a world without criminals. Why L couldn’t see it? Why was he so blind to this fact? He was a problem, and it was Light’s duty to get rid of him. Kira’s justice was supposed to rule the world. Kira would win. He would make sure of it. It was his destiny.

The fate of this world was more important than his own personal feelings. Kira would bring the bright future; that’s all he had to care about.

So there he was, in England, in a limousine which was heading to Wammy’s house with L and Watari. It wasn’t like L gave him a choice, but Light believed he was here of his own free will. After all, he was curious what would happen.

The way L had spoken about the children before was... special. He had never seen L talk about someone that way. It almost made him jealous. Almost.

"Light-kun, before we arrive I would like to speak to you."

"Go ahead, Ryuuzaki." _What thoughts are crossing your mind?_

L’s blank stare was suddenly replaced with a very serious countenance. It made Light tense a bit, but he forced himself to remain detatched.

"For the sake of the children, I am afraid that I will have to unlock the handcuffs for some time." He paused and then reluctantly continued, "I will escort you as best as I can during our separate time but -"

"Ryuuzaki, I’m hurt! You sound like you don’t trust me!" _Yes, come on, unlock the handcuffs… you will fall into my trap, L. I will outsmart you in the end._

"I trust Light-kun, but I don´t trust Kira." answered L monotonically.

If Light wasn’t a good actor, he would have kicked L in the face just then. He was getting really tired of this.

"L, how many times do I have to tell you that I am not Kira?"

Light knew this sentence was pointless, but he had said it anyways. He knew that L was aware of the fact he was Kira, but he would never say it loud. This game was about to end, yes, but he wanted to downplay everything for now. He could do what he wanted; he was the god, wasn’t he?

"Light-kun, the thing I want to tell you is this," his voice was colder than usual. "I honestly do not care what will you do to me, but if you try to hurt any of the children, I will have to hire some serial killer to kill you when we return, Kira or not.”

Light felt shivers down his spine. This wasn’t the L he knew. It kinda creeped him out. Would L be really capable of that? He wasn’t planning on hurting anyone. It would be really stupid of him if he killed them during his presence.

His plan consisted of getting their names, and after that, he would decide when to kill them. He’d left his Death Note at a safe place at home. He had just a piece of Death Note page, as always, in case something happens.

Was L really that protective of them? Something inside of him was telling him that he didn´t want to test it out.

Dealing with angry L would be much harder than dealing with annoying Misa or his sister. He definitely didn’t want that to happen.

It would be really interesting how the things turn out in the end.

Little did he know that L’s threat was empty. L would never be capable of hurting him. Even if it cost him his own life, he would never be capable of doing such thing to him.

"We are here," announced Watari.

Light took a deep breath. _Only two weeks. I can do it_. No that was definitely not helping at all. He was lucky that they arrived at night, so L couldn’t see how upset and nervous Light really was.

He just hoped that the children didn´t have insomnia like L...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> I would like to say a huge thank you to lexthewreck for editing this chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .....Mello was a genius, yes, but he obviously hadn’t realized that the pocket knife wasn’t able to cut the handcuffs.

“Mommy!“ cried out a small blond haired boy. “Mommy, I am sorry for everything I've done! Come back! Please!“ he begged.

He was on his knees, his clothes torn and dirty, and the boy had mud and clay all over his face, which was additionally covered with a big bluish bruise and many cut. However, the boy didn't seem like he cared about it. He was crying and sobbing uncontrollably, praying for one thing – forgiveness.

It was raining heavily. The woman in front of him was holding an umbrella, but the blond-haired boy was soaked all over. He didn't have anything with which to cover himself. The cold rain was mixing with his tears, which he wanted, but couldn't, hold back.

She was looking at him like he was a disgusting thing. She hated every inch of that boy. She hated the fact she was his mother, and she hated that he took his appearance after her. She wanted a cheerful, helpful, and caring child, but he was none of those things. He was trash. He didn't deserve her attention. She had took care of him for three years, and she didn't gain anything from it! What an ungrateful little kid!

She just wanted him to die – as soon as possible. If she was lucky enough, he would freeze to death – he was already trembling. She didn't want to waste her time and energy on someone like him.

“Do not call me 'Mommy'! I don't want to have anything in common with you! You are nothing but a huge mistake!“

The boy hugged his knees and hid his head. He was so scared. He didn't know what he had done wrong.  
Why did his mum hate him so much? What had he done? He always tried to apologize if she was angry at him, but most of the time, he didn't know for what to apologize. Why was she so cruel to him? He was used to being hit or kicked over and over again, but his mum had never screamed at him like this. Why was she being so mean?

Suddenly, he could see a bunch of boys coming to him. They were all laughing and pointing at him. He didn't recognize them, but it didn't matter. He had never had good friends, so he automatically knew that they weren't here to help him.

“Finally, you got to know your place, you freak!“ One of the other boy punched him in the face.

“Are you even a boy? You look like a girl!“

He sobbed. He tried to protect himself from sudden attacks, but he didn't succeed. He was too weak.

“That's enough boys. Let him be; he doesn't deserve your attention.”

He stared at his mother with wide eyes. At times like this she often yelled at him even more, but now, she just turned around and started to walk away with the boys.

“Mommy! Mommy!” he cried desperately while the boys were laughing again. The boy collapsed on the muddy road. He couldn't see anything because of his tears and the rain. Why? Why him? Why was the world so cruel to him? Did he deserve it? Did he do something bad in his past life, and now he had to pay for his crimes?

He didn't have anything or anyone to live for. Not anymore. He was alone. Alone in this cruel and cold place called the world.

“Mello.”

He lifted his head. This voice sounded familiar but he couldn't recognize it. He didn't know the name 'Mello', but it also sounded somehow familiar. Had he heard it somewhere before?

“Mello,” said that voice again, more urgently. It was an angelic sound, he had never heard such an affectionate voice before. The blonde looked around him. He wanted to know who was speaking to him. Nobody was nearby. Was it his imagination?

He started to shake. He felt really cold, and he didn't have any shoes on. Suddenly, he could feel someone watching him. He hopefully turned his head into that direction. Could it be that person with kind voice?

A moment after, he screamed in fear. Right behind the boy was standing a big black wolf with sharp teeth, which was hungrily viewing the poor boy. The animal slowly approached him. The blond was so scared that he couldn't move. Was this his end? Would he die here? Was his entire existence meaningless?

"Mello.”

Again, that voice, which was coming from nowhere. He wanted help. He needed help. He wasn't prepared to die as an animal’s food.

“Where are you?“ he managed to call out before the wolf started running towards his prey.

“Wake up, Mello.“

Mello's eyes snapped open. He was sweating and panting. He felt relieved when he discovered that he was in his familiar bedroom in Wammy's house. For a second, he really believed that his gaze would be met with the hungry wolf's eyes.

A dream?

Definitely, but the most realistic one that Mello had ever had. He didn't have dreams very often, and when he did, not these types of dreams. His past didn't matter to him. He had been saved by L. L was his family. He was a part of Wammy's house. He had friends, who would always support him. He didn't have mother anymore, and it was better that way. That selfish bitch had never cared about him. Not at all. He secretly hoped that she was already dead and that her body was buried very deep under the ground.

Yet, the blonde felt concerned about that dream. He was still gasping for air. He pressed his hand against his forehead. His eyes widened in shock. He was burning. He was about to go back to sleep, but he realized that he wasn't alone in this room. Someone was next to him, touching him.

Mello was being held in someone's arms, Near's arms. Mello had totally forgot about the chain connecting them.

How long has he been holding me? Why didn't he wake me up earlier? But despite what he was thinking he couldn't bring himself to move away. He felt hypnotized by Near's grey orbs, which were looking directly into Mello's.

Yes, hypnotized was the right word. He was still shaken from the nightmare, but Near's presence was mysteriously calming him down. Maybe because the younger boy was always so quiet? So ghost-like?

Mello saw how the other boy's eyes blinked. The magical spell was broken, and he was himself again. Finally, he regained his ability to speak.

“What the hell, cotton ball? Get off me!”

Near simply stared at him.

“Didn't you hear? Do I need to spell it for you?”

Slowly, Near released Mello from his arms, and the blonde nearly immediately stood up and went as far as he could. That damn chain was too short for his liking!

He felt embarrassed. The blonde had always appeared like a strong person, like a leader, but Near had seen him at his most vulnerable state. That wasn't good. Nobody in Wammy's house had ever seen him afraid or weak. Well, maybe his best friend Matt was an exception.

The auburn-haired boy was like Mello's loyal dog: he had always followed him no matter what. Their friendship was really deep. They always were there for each other, and they always would be. They played video games together, ate food together, and made fun of each other. When Mello came up with new prank, Matt was always by his side, no matter how much problem they had afterwards. Their shared their happiness and sadness together. They were inseparable.

But this didn't apply to Near. Near was still like a stranger to Mello. They didn't know anything about each other. It was Near's fault! He should have woken him up sooner! If he had, Mello wouldn't feel ashamed right now!

“You were screaming in your sleep Mello. Is there something Mello wants to talk about? I am willing to listen.”  
Mello took a deep breath and finally met Near's gaze. Like hell he was going to tell him. He wanted to go for a walk, alone. Sadly, neither of them was able to free himself from the handcuffs.

He wanted to scream at Near again, but he stopped himself. What was the point? Even if he didn't want to admit it, deep inside he knew that this wasn't Near's fault. He should act more like an adult than like a little child.  
Without a word, he walked to his bedside table and picked up his pocket knife, which he had gotten from Matt for a present on his birthday. This should work!

He saw Near's eyes widen a little. Does he think that I am going to stab him? Not able to help himself, he smirked at the pale boy. “Afraid, Near?“ and purposely waved the knife in front of his face.

“What does Mello intend to do with this object?“

Mello rolled his eyes. “What do you think? I am going to cut these chains!“

Near didn´t have a chance to stop him. It was too late. After a second the pale boy could hear loud cursing from Mello´s side. Mello was a genius, yes, but he obviously hadn’t realized that the pocket knife wasn’t able to cut the handcuffs.

_Well, that didn’t go as planned_ , thought the blonde boy to himself bitterly as he saw hot red liquid all over his hand.

Near's eyes went wide as he saw Mello´s blooded wrist. _Did Mello want freedom really so much that he didn't mind hurting himself?_ That thought made Near quite sad. Was he really that bad of company?

He carefully watched as Mello put the bloody pocket knife back on the bedside table. Near himself had already figured out many ways to set them free from the handcuffs, but what was the point in doing so? This was L's decision; if he had decided that this would improve their relationship, he had Near's full trust, but Mello could be a very unpredictable person when it came to working with Near.

He was aware of how much Mello hated him. Maybe he just needed some time alone? Near liked having him around but he preferred Mello's well-being to his own comfort. Sadly, there was no way Mello was going to gain freedom, L´s decision was L´s decision, Near would not let him go against L´s will.

Mello seemed like he finally understood that there was no way how to set himself free, but that didn’t change that he wanted to go for a walk. He glared at the albino boy but kept his mouth shut. Why did everything have to be so difficult?

Without a single word spoken, he grabbed the handcuffs and headed to the door, of course, with Near right behind him. It´s gonna be okay….I will ignore him like I always did and it will be just fine…these chains will change nothing, right? Mello didn’t admit it, but for the first time in his life, he felt he was wrong. No, he just needed more sleep. That was definitely it.

Near didn't try to stop him, didn't even try to protest. He knew that it would be pointless. Arguing with angry Mello would be like fighting with an angry lion.

“Like I said before, you will stay away from me as far as you can, is that clear enough?” whispered Mello in dangerously quiet voice.

“As Mello wishes.“

And they left the room and shut the door behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Again, I would like to say a huge thank you to lexthewreck for editing this chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is my first story, I´ve never written anything like this before, so I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> As you may noticed, English isn´t my national language, so please be tolerate to some mistakes (I hope they aren´t so horrible).
> 
> The rating of this story will change after more chapters.


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